Thursday, January 5, 2012

Fuck Team Comics #1

This is going to be a semi-reoccurring column, primarily done when I'm drunk and/or angry about something. It will probably dissolve into ramblings for the majority of its existence, but hey I might make some valid points? Who knows, a drunk can sometimes land a punch.

What's "Team Comics"?

Team comics has become a widely adopted philosophy (mindset? cult?) amongst creators, critics, and readers over the past decade, it ultimately boils down to the idea that "if you point out how bad companies, creators, and comics are then the entire industry will die – and it will all be YOUR FAULT!!!" This idea off the bat is fucking retarded, if comics are so fragile that one blog post, message board troll, or creator (GASP!) can bring the industry to its knees, with one comment, then the industry is doomed no matter how positive everyone else is.


Team comics says this guys isn't good enough for Teen Titans:

but this guy, this guys A-OK:

(where the fuck does – which ever Robin that is – hand go in the third panel? Did the artist forget to draw it? Did the colorist commit jihad on it? Does coffee make your hand fall off ? SOMEONE TELL ME!!!)

After the artist not-good-enough for Teen Titan's dropped the artistic-bombshell that is Joe the Barbarian (what else can a book be called when the artist makes Grant "abducted by aliens" Morrison look like a hack pumping out a failed movie pitch?) Team Comics, were all over his dick, and you know what? He told them to take a hike*, he had better things to do with his time. Who could blame him? If someone told me I wasn't good enough for not-relevant -since-George-Perez-Teen-Titans I would hold a grudge, and I'd make sure to shove whatever I did next down their throats. 

Riddle me this Batman, how does this:

outsell this:

At a rate of almost 2:1? I don't even want to get started on why Kyle Baker is forced to draw a Deadpool book, but he is, and at what point in the collective conscious does everyone think any book about Deadpool not drawn by Baker is even slightly relevant? How does the most critically acclaimed Deadpool book to ever hit the stands get cancelled after 18 issues to a collective whisper  of "wow I'm surprised it made it that far".

Team comics says I can't be negative, positivity will win the day! You know what fuck Team Comics, if all the critical praise for  Deadpool MAX only got Marvel to give it 18 issues, maybe calling Deadpool a piece of shit will get it cancelled before the pitch phase?

1- He's turned down (according to his blog) work on Batman, A undisclosed Morrison project, a Todd Mcfalane project, etc
2- Deadpool #46 sold 26,000 issues – Deadpool MAX sold 14,000 issues 

Artwork is from Joe the Barbarian #1, Teen Titans #4, Deadpool #46, Deadpool MAX #1

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